“Emotional Purity”?

Just because a person feels an attraction that will not culminate in marriage does not make those emotions impure. “Emotional purity” is therefore a bad term since it presupposes that there is something impure or wrong about these emotions, as if to have such feelings defiles a person in the same way as sexual promiscuity.

Robin Phillips, The Way of a Man With a Maid, pg.77

NOTE: “Emotional purity” is the buzz-phrase for Bill Gothard and others of his ilk which promote the “courtship”  and “betrothal” models rather than allowing dating.

Ladies, Think About It

The next time you do a bikini selfie remember that what you get him with is what you must keep him with. It’s fun being hot in a bikini at 25. But it’s not fun when you’re 50 and your husband leaves you for a 25 year old who looks hot in a bikini. So go put some clothes on and impress him with your intellect. Trust me on this one.

Mike Adams, Facebook, 5/25/19.

When Relationships Start With Sex

When relationships start with sex…the odds that women will flourish and enjoy a long-term relationship are dramatically lowered. It is not impossible, just rare.

Mark Regnerus, Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy, pg.66-67

Men, Think Before You Say to a Woman, “I Love You”

My father counseled his four sons never to say “I love you” to a woman until they were ready to follow immediately with “Will you marry me?” Nor should they think of saying “Will you marry me?” unless they had first said “I love you.” How much pain and confusion would be averted if men followed that rule.

Elisabeth Elliot, Passion & Purity, pg.94

Women, You Hold the “Key”

Deep in a woman [is the knowledge] that she holds the key to the situation where a man’s passions are involved. He will be as much of a gentleman as she requires and, when the chips are down, probably no more, even if he has strict standards of his own. He will measure her reserve, always testing the limits, probing. This is not necessarily because he wants to go as far as possible. It is sometimes from a confused sense of obligation, or even chivalry, to meet her expectations.  

Elisabeth Elliot, Passion & Purity, pg.146

Performance Based Relationship?

Nothing is more condemning and degrading in a relationship than to be put on a performance basis.  When one of the partners says, "You have to do certain things or I won't love you," that person no longer has an honest and unconditional love for the other.  The one being made to perform will spend the remainder of the relationship jumping through hoops.  For now it's sex; later, there will be other requirements.


Josh McDowell and Dick Day, "Why Wait?" pg.175-176

With Sex, How Far is Too Far?

The law of diminishing returns confronts a teenager with a basic question:  How far is too far?  You have gone too far the moment you cannot righteously satisfy arousal.

In other words, when you create in someone a desire you cannot righteously fulfill, you have gone too far.  If a man creates within a woman who is not his wife a desire for sex, he has defrauded her.  He has violated her person.  Not being her husband, he cannot satisfy those desires within God's righteousness.

Josh McDowell and Dick Day, "Why Wait?" p.77-78

Sexual Fulfillment

It is well known that male and female sexual experiences differ.  The male sexual appetite is largely physical, it is quickly aroused and quickly satisfied.  With women, however, sexual intercourse is not in itself a wholly satisfying experience, for it arouses other desires which are not so easily met -- desires for the security of a husband, home and children.  For men to arouse such desires, when they have no intention of fulfilling them, can only be described as cruel.

John Stott, Decisive Issues Facing Christians Today, p.55

If You Want Her, Marry Her!

Unless a  man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention?  Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?  If, when the time has come for a commitment, he is not man enough to ask her to marry him, she should give him no reason to presume that she belongs to him.

Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity, p.154